Better keep your day job

I was doing my normal web browsing routine today when I caught a video of Washington Wizards guard John Wall throwing out a first pitch last Friday before a Washington Nationals game. Then I thought, "I wonder what the top ten worst first pitches of all-time are?"

While I've never seen every ceremonial first pitch ever thrown, I've put together this pretty accurate compilation of the best mound meltdowns ever. Coming in at number

10. is this Tyrannosaurus rex throwing a baseball with his mouth. Just the idea of a grown man dressed as a T-Rex was enough to slip this into the list. They must have been struggling to find anyone that day, but it was still better than

9. this guy falling off the mound during the pitch. This would have made it higher up had it been something I cared about like

8. President Barack Obama throwing the first pitch before a Nationals game. Sort of reminiscent of Randy Johnson's pitch to John Kruk during the 1993 all-star game. At least those got over the plate, which is more than I can say about

7. Joan Steinbrenner's first pitch at the christening of the Yankees' new spring training field. Speaking of dribblers,

6. Carl Lewis' toss before a Mariners game was pretty pathetic coming from a nine-time Olympic gold medalist. I don't know which is worse; the throw or his rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. His pitch was bad, but it wasn't worse than

5. Mariah Carey's infamous slow-roller in Japan. At least she walked away after one and didn't completely embarrass herself like

4. Adam Carolla did before a Dodger game. Carolla threw out the first three pitches of the game, killing his career K/BB ratio. He somewhat found the strike zone by the third pitch. I don't think

3. Charlie Crist, former governor of Florida, could have hit the zone with 100 pitches. I'm just basing this off his ceremonial first toss before a Tampa Bay Rays game. His delivery was pretty solid as opposed to

2. Mark Mallory, Mayor of Cincinatti. His first pitch was horrible, but notice the blatant balk. That one came close to

1. radio producer Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate's horrendous hurl. Ouch. I bet he wishes he could get that one back. In no other stadium than Citi Field can a first pitch bean an umpire. With that being said, I still think the Mets could slot him to the fifth spot of the starting pitching rotation.


And there you have it. 10 of the most pathetic first pitches I've ever seen. With 4860 MLB games per season, I'm sure there are many more to come.